Friday, August 29th, 2014

Ravens (4-10) @ Seahawks (9-5)

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We would say that things don’t get any easier for the Ravens this week, but it’s pretty much impossible to get any easier than it was last week, and they still managed to screw that up. This week they travel cross country again to take on the NFC West champion Seattle Seahawks. Ugh. The ‘hawks are 6-1 at home this season, and are pretty much a match-up nightmare for the Ravens all around.

The Ravens can’t stop the pass, giving up over 220 yards per game. Seattle coach Mike Holmgren loves passing like a fat guy…er…like HE loves cake.

The Ravens are terrible on the road, at 1-6 this year.  The Seahawks have one of the NFL’s best home field advantages, as their raucous crowd causes opponents to false start nearly 3 times a game, tops in the NFL.

The Ravens will be trotting out rookie QB Troy Smith for his first NFL start, and the B-More offensive line has been a sieve lately. The Seahawks are 2nd in the NFL with 41 sacks.

The Ravens “can’t stand the rain.” It rains a lot in Seattle, from what I hear.

So yeah, the Ravens have about as much chance of ending their league-high 8 game losing streak as an 8-layer burrito has in a room with Mike Holmgren.

On the injury front, Samari Rolle is probably out again, and we’ve given up hope at this point of the Stormin’ Mormon making it onto the field again in ’07. Instead of “Heeeeaaap,” maybe we should start yelling “Weeeeeeeep.” You know, cuz he’s always crying. No? Ok, you think of something.

Ray Lewis hasn’t practiced all week with a dislocated finger, but knowing Ray, he’ll be in there come game time. Having Ray in always makes a difference, as we saw last week after he got hurt, but unless he can scare cornerbacks Corey Ivy, Derrick Martin, and Jamaine Winborne into actually covering those guys that are always running past them, this one will probably get ugly quick.

Hawks QB Matt Hasselbeck is one of the best in the league at this point, and has plenty of weapons to work with, although even University of Washington receivers would probably do well against the Ravens.

I mean seriously….we couldn’t stop Cleo Lemon. Watching Hasselbeck carve up the purple-and-black secondary will have Holmgren lost in daydream about carving up his Christmas day turkey by halftime.

Troy Smith will be running for his life all day, much like Kyle Boller, and Steve McNair before him, have been doing all season. He is more mobile than either of those 2, and has better pocket presence than Boller. He also keeps his eyes downfield when he scrambles, unlike Kyle, so Troy will likely make some plays that give Ravens fans some hope for his future. However, he will also make several costly mistakes trying to force the issue, and this one won’t be close.

Mike Holmgren is fat.

Seahawks 27 Ravens 14

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