Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014

Gibby, We Hardly Knew Thee

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Can’t hit, hot wife, can’t field, injury prone, ridiculously de-flated body since the steroid scandal hit. Alright, so maybe we knew you pretty well. Regardless, Jay Gibbons, the 2nd longest tenured Oriole, was cut by the team after they learned they would have to deal with his situation now rather than later (due to MLB suspending his suspension…whatever that means).

Jay hit a measly .189 this spring with 0 home runs and 4 RBI in 16 games, not making a very strong case for himself as the O’s left-handed power man of 08.

Gibbons’ misadventures in the outfield at Camden Yards are pretty well documented, as every ball hit to right had the potential to turn into an inside the park home run. And we didn’t even have a cute saying for his struggles, like the Sox do with Manny (“That’s just Gibby being Gibby,” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.)

But don’t shed too many tears for old Gibby.

As punishment for his being a crap-tastic, always hurt baseball player, Gibbons gets….$12 million. To sit around all day and take swims in his swimming pool full of gold coins a la Scrooge McDuck. With his uber-hot wife. Maybe he’ll try to go to Japan to resurrect his career, or maybe he’ll be content in retirement at the ripe old age of 31, traveling the world on Peter Angelos’ dime.

Either way, see ya later Jay, and don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

As for the Orioles, this is yet another in what seems to be a growing list of positive signs that the rebuilding effort is 100% underway and has the full support of the Greek upstairs. With that being said, there are just about 4 hours to go until the 2008 season AKA “The Campaign to Stay in Double Digit Losses” begins.

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