Thursday, July 31st, 2014

AAA Report (Angry A-Hole Aruban)

5


Late Friday, it was reported that the Texas Rangers were the latest team to get fed up with the antics of one Sir Sidney Ponson. Rangers’ GM Jon Daniels said they got rid of everyone’s favorite drunken Aruban Knight for “disrespectful and adverse reactions to situations unbecoming of teammates.”

Huh?

Further inspection of some Texas Rangers blogs reveals that the word on the street is that Ponson, upset at being asked to pitch on 3 days rest, and also that his defense committed 3 errors behind him, went on a post-game tirade that would make Ozzie Guillen proud, cussing his teammates, coaches, and Daniels loudly and repeatedly. One report goes so far as to say that he dropped a medicine ball on the hand of Rangers shortstop Michael Young on purpose (Son of a Caribbean Bitch! Young is on my fantasy team!). Also, Sir Sid was reportedly already on a sort of probation by the Rangers after causing a “disturbance” at a hotel bar in Florida on a recent road trip.

This despite the fact that the Rangers are desperate for pitching, as they are last in the majors with a 5.10 team ERA, and Ponson was 4-1 with an ERA of 3.88 in his latest comeback attempt.

In case you O’s fans have forgotten all that was Sidney Ponson in B’More, here is a quick refresher:

  • April 19, 1998 (wow, its really been 10 years??) – Ponson makes his MLB debut for the Birds
  • 2003 – Sid goes 14-6 with a 3.77 ERA before being traded at the deadline to the Giants for the craptastic 3-pack of Kurt Ainsworth, Damian Moss, and Ryan Hannaman.
  • 2003 – After the season, the O’s decide to bring Sir Sid back, and give him a 3 year, $22.5 million contract. Ponson proceeds to spend $10 million on booze and $12 million on cheeseburgers and hot wings.
  • 2004 – The O’s opening day starter, Ponson was 3-12 at the All-Star Break. Even after a strong second half, he finished the season 11-15 with an ERA of 5.30. However, he was just getting started in his displays of gratitude for the loyalty the O’s organization had shown him.
  • December 25, 2004 – An Aruban Judge complained when he saw Sidney Claus wrecklessly driving his waverunner while passing out toys to the little Aruban children on the beach. Ponson expressed his displeasure at this Scrooge by punching him in the face. He would spend 11 days in jail. (Note: no truth to reports of toys or children).
  • January 2005 – Arrested for DUI in Florida.
  • May 2005 – Due to his legal troubles, Sid has to go through special proceedings to get a visa to allow him to travel to Canada to pitch against the Blue Jays.
  • July 2005 – The O’s, having had quite enough, try to trade Sid to the Padres for Phil Nevin. Nevin gives the finger to B’More, invoking his no-trade clause.
  • August 25, 2005 – Arrested for DUI on I-95 near B’More.
  • September 1, 2005 – The O’s void Sir Sid’s contract, citing his legal troubles as evidence that his morals violated his deal.

Fun stuff. It really is a shame about this guy. He is obviously a talented pitcher, but his drinking problems and work ethic have conspired to ruin what could have been a pretty productive major league career. The Rangers are just the latest team to take a chance on him and have him bite them in the ass like they were a big fat juicy biterbal.

Comments

5 Responses to “AAA Report (Angry A-Hole Aruban)”
  1. SoxAddict says:

    Ah Sidney Ponson, the classiest of overweight starting pitchers..

  2. My favorite drunken, overweight starting pitcher is Babe Ruth. I’d keep an eye out for Ponson to emerge as a power hitter. Then the Orioles will have 80 some odd years without a championshp and the most annoying and racist fans in baseball.

  3. Lou says:

    Why don’t you guys see that alcoholism is his problem? The Rangers obviously set him up to fail so they could justify getting rid of him, and it was the disturbance at the bar that they reacted to. Is it fair to try to aggravate a guy who has a disease, has obviously been drinking enough it turned him surly so things like changing his starts would really irk him? Anyone knows Sidney is emotional, not the most mature guy, and probably has enough stress that he’d snap. I hope Sid sobers up, finds another team, and stays in MLB another few years. Why persecute him for being what he is-an alcoholic. Relapses happen, and can even be used to strengthen a person. Hopefully, Ponson may see what he did wrong by now, and will realize he could die if he doesn’t get it right soon. I do not know how some fans and writers can laugh at this, he is a person, a human, and has been through a lot. Try putting yourself in his place…it’s not really such a wodnerful life, I bet.

  4. Rocky Balboa says:

    Don’t send him to Philly, uhhh i’ll knock em out.

  5. Laxman says:

    Pour me one Poor Sid. What kind of schwag party was he at when that pic was taken. Glad he never made it to OCMD..he’s have to take his shirt off

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