It’s time for another edition of Lookalikes! This is going to be an All-Squealer version, because….well, because those are the stupidest looking bunch of goofs in the entire NFL.
1. You ever watch that big dummy QB of theirs play in the rain? He has to wear a big, gay, glove. We’re not sayin Ben runs a youth football league out of his
bedroom backyard, but the similarities are eerie.
2. When a picture of Shitsburgh linebacker James Harrison flashed across the screen in the Sunday night game, I couldn’t quite figure out who he reminded me of. Suddenly, it hit me so hard I was almost as cross-eyed as Harrison for a second. Damon Wayans, Jim Carrey, and Jaime Foxx all got their start in the late 80s on a show called “In Living Color.” It was the funniest show on TV, and anyone who remembers it will agree. One of Foxx’s characters was named “LaWanda” or “Ugly Wanda” or something like that…anyway, throw a curly blonde wig on him, and Harrison is the spitting image of Jaime Foxx trying to be as ugly as possible.
3. Brown Stains’ QB Derek Anderson killed the teams’ hopes in that game by throwing an interception at the Squealers’ goal line in the waning moments of the first half. Somehow, he failed to see that ridiculous looking neanderthal-jungle man lurking in the secondary.
That’s all the ugliness we can take for now. As always, if you have any lookalikes of your own, send them to us at firstname.lastname@example.org!