Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

Squealers 23 Ravens 14 (The THAT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED Game)

17

Damn it.

Damn it.

Damn. It.

The Ravens’ awesome season came to an end last night in front of 60,000 towel waving idiots.  I’ve stepped back from the ledge, so to speak, but I’m still in no mood to give a full fledged recap to that abomination last night; the one that sent those shithead squealers to their 2nd Super Bowl in four seasons.  A “talking points” style list of grievances/headaches should suffice as I’m sure you don’t feel like reading about it any more than I feel like writing about it.

WTF Daren Stone

How do you define a good year for a special teams player?  I’d say its by not hearing their name often, since the guys you hear about on punt and kick return teams are usually those getting flagged for holds.  As far as that went, Daren Stone was having a pretty decent year.  He was invisible, for the most part, making a tackle here and there and playing solidly.  I seem to remember him even having a pretty good play at some point, where he made an athletic move to down a punt near the goal line.  Last night, however, Mr. Stone decided to go down in infamy in Ravens’ history.

With just under 7 minutes to play, the Ravens trailed 16-14, and things were starting to feel verrrry similar to Tennessee one week ago.  Jim Leonhard’s 11-yard punt return appeared to set the Ravens up at their own 39-yard line, from where they would need only about 25 yards to try a long field goal attempt that would have put them in the lead.  I say appeared, because that’s where the ball was when CBS went to commercial.  When they came back, however, we saw Daren Stone’s ridiculously retarded unnecessary roughness violation.  Standing about 10 yards out of bounds, and with Leonhard and the play well past him, Stone threw some poor hapless no-name Steeler to the ground.

“Why, why, why?!?!” I wailed as I lay in the fetal position on my living room floor.

The penalty, officially 15-yards, actually cost the Ravens a full 25 yards of field position.  Now the Ravens were starting at their own 14 instead, and the Pittsburgh crowd, which was just moments from vomiting into their stupid towels, was rejuvenated, as was the defense.  A few plays later, some goofy looking jungle man did his best impersonation of his hero, Ed Reed, and made it official – but for all intents and purposes, the game ended on Stone’s penalty.

Screw you, Daren Stone.  I hope you never play another down in the NFL.

Bounty Collected

Since Steeler fans can’t stop bringing up bounties that probably never even really existed, we’ll respond in turn.

Cheap Shot caught a pass some time in the 2nd quarter, and Frank Walker managed to twist Shot’s knee all to hell in the process of tackling him.  Shot would spend the remainder of the game on the bench.  Consider the bounty collected.

Side note:  Kudos to Pittsburgh for showing some class when Willis McGahee had to be carted off.  Normally, the Nest would never cheer when a player gets hurt.  Cheap Shot is the one player for whom we make an exception.  Hopefully he misses the Super Bowl too.

F that guy.

Now if Walker would only have caught the interception that Baby Ben gift wrapped for him in the end zone near the end of the 3rd quarter, he could have prevented 3 points.  Guess that’s too much to ask from a slobbery back up CB though.

Cam Cameron is Scared of Dick LeBeau

Remember in the Adam Sandler movie “The Waterboy,” when the coach played by the Fonz is scared to death of the rival team’s coach?  To help him conquer this fear, the Waterboy teaches him about the visualization techniques he uses – the Fonz visualizes the other coach as a puppy or a baby, and his fear is gone.

Cam Cameron needs to visualize Dick LeBeau as a puppy.  His game plans against Pittsburgh this year have all been ridiculously vanilla, timid, and, dare we say, Billick-esque.  The one time the Ravens tried a bit of trickery, Mark Clayton picked up a good gain on a double reverse.  Besides that play though, Cameron’s game plan was pretty shoddy.  At no point was this more evident than when the Ravens failed to pick up a single yard on 3rd or 4th down after Ray Lewis forced a Slow Bill fumble.

You’ve got 8 months, Cam.  Figure it out.

Slow Bill

“Fast” Willie Parker was reportedly “encouraged” after watching Chris Johnson run wild on the Ravens in Tennessee.  Well, Slow Bill, that’s why you’re not Chris Johnson.  Parker averaged under 2 yards per carry on 24 attempts.

On one play where Parker caught a pass in the flat, Bart Scott knocked him halfway up the Duquesne Incline.   And hey, (Ryan Clark!) he managed to do it without smashing his head into Parker’s facemask and giving him a spine injury – imagine that.

You stay encouraged, Bill.

Joe Cold

My man Joe needs to join Cam in trying to figure out that Pittsburgh D during the off season.  He went 13-3 against the rest of the league, and 0-3 against the squealers.  For the first time all season, Joe looked like a rookie.  He had happy feet in the pocket, and his passes were off-target.  His receivers didn’t do much to help him, of course (pretty sure Mason, Clayton, and Heap all had drops).

Still, Flacco cemented his name as the most accomplished rookie in NFL history with his 2 Playoff wins.  Nothing wrong with that.

That’s all I got.  Congrats to the Steelers.  The team, that is.  The fans can go take a long walk off a short pier.

And to all you towel-wavers hanging around the Nest – I understand that you just can’t resist the awesome-ness of my writing, and I got no beef with you being here – however, if your comments hate on the Ravens or their fans in a way I don’t like – don’t be surprised when I delete them.  There are plenty of places on this here interwebs where vermin like you can congregate and diss the Ravens until your black (and gold) hearts are content.  This ain’t the place.  (This means you -Webethugginravens#1 AKA Adolphus Lestrange AKA SteelerstakeoverMD AKA Woodlawnisbeiruit AKA MDsupportsgays AKA WYOSteelers.  Hope you enjoy the inauguration, Aaron.  I know I will/won’t.  See, because this is a sports site and not a political site – no room for that stuff here).

See yins next season.

Go Cards.

Comments

17 Responses to “Squealers 23 Ravens 14 (The THAT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED Game)”
  1. Bob says:

    This is why this site was recognized by the Balto Sun. The article was right on time and I couldn’t have said it better myself.

  2. math_geek says:

    The unfortunate thing is that Daren Stone played well this season… Really. I’m not sure how he was even on the field there, as it was reported he got a concussion on the first kickoff. If they misdiagnosed it, that would certainly explain that stupdity. Nobody can be intelligent with an untreated concussion. But the whole thing just sounds fishy to me.

  3. Nice synopsis. Congrats on the bounty. Tweaking Hines’ knee was probably not the contract hit they had in mind though. But good thing they did or that game may not have been close.

    Just gonna say I love the Google ads running on this post. “Party for the Steelers.” “2009 Steelers AFC Champs.”

    Google knows what’s up.

  4. Laugh Riot says:

    The more we beat you, the louder you howl. Ah, tis music to my ears. Great article, please keep up the good work.

  5. NestMinder says:

    Thanks Ape.

    Now, I was over at dcsteelernation just a minute ago and there was a full ad for the Patriots team store. At least Google doesn’t discriminate their terrible ad placement. NO ONE DENIES THIS!!

    Love your KSK stuff. Ya know, except when you tell me to go die in a fire. Otherwise, hilarious.

  6. Raven Maniac says:

    Great article and I completely agree about Stone – off with his head! I didn’t know about the site until it was featured in the Baltimore Sun, but have been a regular visitor since.

  7. NestMinder says:

    @ Raven Maniac

    Thanks for the kind words. Great to have you aboard.

  8. first off, Laugh Riot “tis???” second off, Darren Stone is a retard and third Ward deserved to have his knee bent to shit and out for the rest of the game. Need another shut down corner with C-Mack when he’s healthy and stops pouting and Boldin or Ocho Cuatro to complement Williams and Mason, Clayton needs to go if he don’t show me something in the preseason or early in the season 09

  9. DEFENSE = RAVENS says:

    First of all I was watching the game with some over people and I was insanely calm. I was as cool as a cucumber in Alaska. Also this is season is something to hang your hats we made the PLAYOFFS. preseason i had 7-9 to 9-7 but 11-5 with rookie at the two most important positions is INSANE. i also am like ravens maniac. I had a blog on easportsworld.com then I saw the article and thought that was cool. Also Steve how ’bout CRABTREE trade up for him.

  10. NestMinder says:

    @ D = R. Glad you found us too.

    I’m not sold on Crabtree. First, I am hesitant to ever draft a WR in the first round – they are just way too “hit or miss.” Secondly, Crabtree comes from a gimmick offense at TTU. Just like QBs that come from gimmick college offenses, WRs may not translate to the NFL. Look at a guy like Calvin Johnson – he played in a much more pro-like offense at Georgia Tech.

    But hell, I also said that Matt Ryan would be awful, so that shows what I know.

    Discuss.

  11. draftday says:

    how about a first round corner? maybe a wideout later on

  12. UnbiasedGuy says:

    WR definitely. The 2009 WR draft pool is supposed to be one of the largest in draft history so you could probably forgo drafting WR in the 1st round and opt for a CB.

  13. i'm gonna thug webethuggin ravens says:

    I saw in yesterday’s SI something which I kinda ignored until Dan Patrick brought it up. While they were tending to Willis was it silent… NO THE DA** SQUEALERS WERE BLASTING MUSIC. There’s a chance that Willis could be really hurt and they are playing music. Hope those jack**s lose
    P.S. Pardon my language.

  14. Crying says:

    Is there anything else you haven’t cried about yet? Who cares if there was music being played in the stadium? Would silence help Willis heal faster? The only thing he could hear was his ears ringing after getting “jacked up”. Nobody celebrates injuries. Willis absolutely carried the offense in that game, without his blocking Flacco would have been eating dirt every other play.

  15. AnneArundelAayetollah says:

    Time to move on Nestminder. Seriosuly, attacking the Steeler fans none of whom you have probably met for showing up (65,000 strong by the way) to cheer on their team. Did your mom not teach you about being a sore loser? Go Steelers and congrats Ravens on a good season.

  16. Nestminder's Mom says:

    AAA

    Don’t go there!!! And by the way, did your mom not teach you how to spell ‘seriously’?

  17. Crying, you should think before you type, but your a Steeler fan, so I wouldn’t expect you think at all. Yes, the music should’ve been turned off because they need to see if McGahee is responsive, he sure as hell can’t nod his head when he’s being immobalized, you think the trainers can hear over that crappy techno music you play at the ketcup bottle? seriously, come back when you have a legitmate argument.

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