Thursday, August 21st, 2014

J-E-T-S SUCK! SUCK! SUCK! MNF Live Blog

1

7:06 – The entire opening segment was about the Jets and Mark Sanchez.  Ravens mentioned only in passing.  Shock.

7:08 – Someone needs to tell the fine folks at Wrangler that, not only does Mr. Favre not play for the Packers any more (oh, you haven’t heard?) – his shirt is yellow with a green #4 on it – but NOBODY LIKES HIM!  His days as an effective jeans-seller are about 4 years in the past.  FIX YO COMMERCIALS

7:15 – Cris Carter just gave us this gem, regarding the aforementioned (number) fore four: “Your body can only just entail so much.”  Wtf.  This man gets paid to talk on TV.  Do we have a replacement for Emmitt?

7:16 – Not to be outdone, Chris “Rooting for Favre is like rooting for America” Berman chimes in with “he’s a kid playing a game,” about Favre.  I need to note that he said this with a completely straight face.

7:18 – After 18 minutes, we finally get a promise that the Monday Night Countdown crew, will, at some point…talk about the Ravens, as there is a preview for an upcoming segment about Joe Flacco.  I’ve had enough of these idiots for a while…

7:24 – Flacco is the subject, so I couldn’t help myself.  Cris Carter adds himself to the list of idiots who apply the baseball-based “sophomore jinx” to football.  Hearing him criticize the Ravens for not “giving Flacco more weapons,” I’m starting to think he shares a brain with Anita Marks.  I swear, if he brings up Anquan Boldin or Brandon Marshall and/or his fantasy teams, I’m done.  CC is staking himself to the early lead for stupidest pre-game show panel member.

7:52 – Prompted by Berman making no sense, Carter just admits that he needs a dictionary.  See 7:15 entry to understand why I find this particularly amusing.

8:09 – Haloti Ngata just gave Mark Sanchez a proper welcome to Baltimore.  HALOTI with the 25- yard pick 6.  Looks like Sanchez had a facemask full of #52.  Never saw anything like that in the Pac-10, huh kid?

8:11 – Graham Gano with a great kick and, unfortunately, tackle.  Where is the coverage team, John?

8:20 – Hate the call on 3rd and short.  Luckily, Ray Rice be jukin.  Bart Scott with the hit on Flacco.  Not quite Roethlisberger-esque, but a hit for sure.

8:22 – Bart Scott isnt a Raven any more, boys.  We need to block him.

8:24 – Flacco misses a wide open Ray Rice.  McGahee might have had it, but Mighty Mouse can’t jump that damn high.

8:26 – Sam Koch’s job is safe.

8:33 – AFC Divisional playoff game, much?  Flacco-to-Mason very reminiscent of Tennessee.  Of course, theres a flag.  Looks like it wasnt an issue.  Awesome play.

8:36 – Statue of Liberty!  This continues to not feel like a preseason game.  Ravens lead 14-0.  After being annoyed that Cam Cameron called two straight passes from the 3-yard line, he redeems himself.  Three consecutive runs by Pain Train McClain would have been ok to see too, though.  So far this preseason, the Ravens have now outscored their opponents 37-0.

8:50 – HEEEEEEEEAP.  Todd with the first down reception reminding us of the old Heap.  Hopefully it will become a familiar sight once again.  The Ravens are putting together a very nice drive here.  Starting from their own 10, they are now in field goal range.

8:58 – HATE throwing on 3rd-and-short again.  And, you’d think Harbaugh would use the opportunity to let Graham Gano try a 47 yard field goal in game conditions.  Peculiar going for it on 4th.  But, SUCCESS!

9:00 – A hold on Matt Birk brings back a great scramble for a first down by Joe Vick Flacco.  A nice call on the WR screen to Demetrius Williams gets the Ravens back into FG range, but Gano misses from 42.  That probably negates his good kickoffs, and the grumbles for Matt Stover from Ravens fans get a tad louder.

9:04 – One concern with the Ravens’ defense so far tonight is against the run.  The Jets have been getting some big runs on first and second down from Thomas Jones and Leon Washington.  Looks like the over-30 club members are out (Lewis, Reed, Pryce, etc.)  The Ravens finally get a sack, as Tavares Gooden comes through untouched to bring up a 3rd and long.

9:08 – Washington picks up 18 on 3rd and 12.  Very disappointing.

9:10 – Another huge choke job by the Ravens D on 3rd and long.  Mr. Mattison needs to address this in the coming weeks.

9:12 – Right on cue, the Ravens give up a TD on 3rd and 9.  The Ravens linebackers looked confused without Ray Lewis on the field.  Lots of yelling back and forth and directionless jumping around before the snap.  Oh well.  Nearly 85 minutes into the preseason, the Ravens finally give up their first points.

9:17 – Troy Smith taking over for the Ravens.  The final line for Flacco – 8/18 120 yards, 0 TD 0 INT.  I’d give him a solid B for the evening.

9:30 – Jaws fills us in that Troy Smith missed the hot read on 3rd-and-short, while Demetrius Williams broke his route off correctly.  The pump fake cost Smith a likely first down, and resulted in a sack.

9:33 – Jameel McClain makes up for giving up the TD to Washington earlier with a pick 6 of his own.  Haloti Ngata had a hand in this one as well, applying the pressure that caused Kellan Clemons to throw up the duck.  The Ravens’ defense with their 2nd touchdown on the night, and the good guys now lead 21-7.

9:35 – The Ravens take a 21-7 lead into the locker room.  Not a bad performance overall.  I’ll be back in the 2nd half, just not quite as often.

10:22 – The Ravens D makes a nice stop on 4th and 3 from their own 30.  Pretty much the lone bright spot of the 2nd half so far.  Troy Smith and the entire offense have been ATROCIOUS, and special teams hasn’t been much better.  Ledarius Webb threw the ball right to a Jets player on the opening kickoff return, quite an ugly blunder.  The backup offensive linemen are playing terribly, as Troy Smith has zero time to throw, in his defense, and Willis McGahee runs into a wall as soon as he takes every handoff.

10:25 – Speaking of Willis, he just had a great 16-yard run, weaving in and out and switching hands with the ball mid-run like vintage McGahee.  On the next play though, of course, the other 9 Ravens heard Troy Smith say “on 3,” while he and his center heard “on 2.”  Ugliness ensued.

10:27 – Another terrible pass from Smith, a floater from his back foot.  After playing so well against Washington last week, Smith looks like a wholly different player tonight.  Maybe its the poor play of the guys blocking in front of him, maybe he’s just off his game, or maybe the Jets’ backup defenders are just that good.  Whatever the case, it would probably be best to get him out of there.  Let’s hope we see Cleo Lemon or John Beck here in the 4th.

10:37 – Bart Scott, always a good interview.  He stopped a few steps shy of telling Michelle he wanted to kiss her, at least, although it wouldn’t have surprised me.  Good to see him smiling and jawing with the fans in the stands down there as well.  I think the Ravens have the players to adequately replace #57 on the field, but B’More will still miss Bart.

10:39 – Smith in to start the fourth, and immediately he gets sacked again.  Get him out!

10:40 – Making me eat my words, Smith completes a deep ball to Justin Harper from his own end zone to put the Ravens in New York territory.  Two plays later, Smith runs the option perfectly to pick up the first down.

10:43 – Steve Hauschka true from 42 yards.  He may wake up tomorrow morning and find himself with the inside track to win the Ravens’ kicking job.

10:50 – Ray Lewis tells Michelle Tafoya that Ngata called him out on the sideline from dropping his chance at a Sanchez interception, and made sure Lewis did his punishment push ups.  The guy gets his first touchdown and hes already gettin’ mouthy…D-linemen, psh.  Jon Gruden drops the interesting stat that no linebacker has ever had 30 sacks and 30 interceptions.  Lewis needs 2 more picks to become the only member of that particular 30-30 club.

11:03 – Thanks to the Ravens’ backups inability to get off the field, it looks like we have a pretty good chance of seeing the Jets score a TD and go for 2 and the win.  Guh.

11:07 – Ainge in on the sneak.  Will Ryan call a Statue of Liberty play of his own?

11:08 – During a Ravens timeout, I think I’m going to have to rethink this whole live-blogging thing.  The last time I tried it, this happened.   And now a damn preseason game is almost giving me a heart attack.

11:09 – Ladarius Webb and Prescott Burgess combine to foil the Jets’ 2-point attempt.  The Ravens will escape with the win, 24-23, and will have bragging rights over their former mates in green and white for the time being at least.  Thanks for tuning in with us tonight.

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