Sunday, October 26th, 2014

Your Typical Steelers Fan

27

Via the delightful People of Wal-Mart:

Big Ben Fan

Looks about right to me.  As of last February, he (she?) can now count all the way to 6!

Comments

27 Responses to “Your Typical Steelers Fan”
  1. Orangebird says:

    Another reason why I hate Wal-mart

  2. Realist says:

    is that Sandy Martin? AKA Mac’s Mom in Always Sunny in Philly. http://blog.seattlepi.com/tvtalkbiglove/library/SandyMartinSelma.jpg

  3. For a blog that covers two Baltimore teams, the amount of posts about the Steelers is laughable. I counted 10 alone since the Super Bowl (out of 72 total posts). In that same time frame: 23 posts about the Orioles. The Steelers account for almost half as many posts as one of the teams you’re covering.

    You’re so overcome with petty hate. It’s truly amazing and hilarious.

  4. NestMinder says:

    Welp, looks like I can go ahead and get rid of my statcounter program, what with Ape’s sharp analytical mind sitting around counting all my posts and whatnot.

    Thanks for reading, you yinzer-wannabe.

  5. Hey, you might be a yinzer-wannabe yourself, Nest. God knows you write about the Steelers almost as much as I do. And the only time you show up on KSK or DCSN is to bash them (or me).

    I’m afraid the bandwagon’s all filled up though. That and we generally frown on frontrunners who “boycott” Super Bowls because they’re sad that their favorite team lost.

    But keep up the good sulking!

  6. goob says:

    Dear Ape,

    Stop being so defensive and go fuck yourself.

    Hugs and kisses xoxo,
    Goob

    P.S. Is there some wager we can have where/when the ravens beat those ugly chick rapists, ape must never post on this site again. What do you think douche?

  7. I’ll happily take that wager if Nestminder keeps his whiny ass off all the sites I write for.

    In fact, I love how the commenters on this site act like I’m a bully or some shit when I would have never visited this blog in the first place had Nest not been such a persistent dicksmack on KSK.

    http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/09/nobody-wants-to-live-in-a-world-without-cheerleaders.html

    In fact, look at a post from earlier this week, Nest shows up in the first comment to be a dick when there’s nothing about his precious little Ratbirds to get him worked up.

    Don’t worry, though – your squad of bounty hunters, murderer/snitches and soft safeties aren’t beating the Steelers this year.

  8. Matt says:

    Ape is just being pissy because his book isn’t selling too hot

  9. That’s an amazing comeback. The book’s doing pretty well, actually, but let’s put it this way: if I only sold one copy that’s one more book than you’ll ever sell, dipshit.

  10. Matt says:

    Ape I don’t think you are a bully… I think you are a bitch

  11. Matt says:

    For the record I didn’t watch Super Bowl XLIII either I was in the Dominican Republic at the time… I think going scuba diving in crystal clear water was worth it.

  12. goob says:

    Ape,
    What’s the name of your book because congrats buddy…. YOU JUST SOLD ANOTHER COPY! Ill happy cough up a few bucks for the book and even cough up a few extra bucks for a signed copy. Ill have nestminder take a few pictures of me ripping out a few pages, taking a massive shit on the cover and finally wipe my ass with the remaining pages.

    Think of me as a psychic. Ill be taking a #2 on your shitty (great word play by the way, I learned that at the Washington Post) as a symbol of the placing for your team within the division. Hey, at least I was giving you the benefit of finishing ahead of the Brownstains and the Bunguls

  13. NestMinder says:

    This was my first impression of Ape –

    http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/12/f-k-you-bawlmer.html

    A post in which he blasphemes against Cal Ripken, Natty Boh, the Wire, the Aquarium, and Johnny Unitas, among other things.

    And yet somehow its me that has too much hate, or some such nonsense. It appears I have had a lot of catching up to do.

  14. http://www.amazon.com/Football-Fans-Manifesto-Michael-Tunison/dp/0061735140/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1245082812&sr=8-1%22

    Here you go. Have at it, champ.

    And, yeah, sure, Steelers are finishing second in the division, just like the last two years, right? By the way, have the Ravens ever won consecutive division titles? Because the Steelers have done three times since Baltimore stole Cleveland’s team.

  15. Nest, as he so often does, misses the point.

    You trolled on KSK for months after that, only showing up to bash the Steelers or call me a bandwagon fan. I’d never read your blog. I had no idea who you were. You were just some pestering little unfunny shit.

    So I came here for the first time after the Super Bowl to see how this random pain in the ass had reacted to the game, figuring it was more of the same. And, indeed, it was. That post, the one where you talked about boycotting the game, referee conspiracies, how Flacco, despite having a QB rating roughly 20 points lower and winning fewer games, had a better rookie season than Roethlisberger (but, hey, he won more playoff games! Maybe because, unlike Ben, he had to start in the Wild Card round – but that 44 percent postseason completion rate was HAWT)and how Steelers fans were somehow jealous of Ravens fans. Basically, it was one of the most pathetic things I’d ever read on any blog.

    The difference is this: The post of mine you’re referring to is blatantly over the top satire I wrote for KSK. I don’t particularly care about Cal Ripken or the aquarium, I was just trying to write the most provocative hateful thing I could about Baltimore because the two teams were playing a big game two days later. This wasn’t some random screed in the offseason. But you actually believe all the sniveling stuff you wrote. It’s kind of mind-boggling, in a way.

  16. NestMinder says:

    /snickers at Ape

    Yeah, man, you’re right. The concept of satire is completely foreign to me, and everything I write here I believe from the depths of my soul.

    You, studly blogger man, are the humorless prick in this equation, a fact reinforced every time you show up to write a 250 word comment that is extremely heavy on the personal attacks and just as light on the jokes.

  17. My bad. I should have gathered from “Steelers fans can count to six now” line that you’re a comedy virtuoso.

    HARF HARF HARF, etc.

  18. Goob says:

    bbbbbbboooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnngggggg

  19. Goob says:

    oh… and don’t ever talk shit on Natty Boh, Cal Ripken or the Wire… that’s just a low blow. I don’t know who those towel waving faggots love and admire besides those 1 helmet sticker bitches. I’ll do some research and get back to ya!

  20. Christmas Ape is a Jew and doesn’t believe in Santa Clause

    What a lovely staple of followers you’ve built, Nest.

  21. Matt says:

    Satire usually has a point to make, that was just a stupid jerkoff rant. Can we all admit Drew is the only funny one on KSK. Can we get Ape a Hooker please? I can set up a donation site. I think he will lighten up. Besides why do you care that Nest didn’t watch the Super Bowl? Its his prerogative. You can dish it out but you can’t take it. Which is why you are a bitch.

  22. Matt says:

    It just a game, it not like its life or death, Ape should lighten up. Do you own the Steelers? Is your last name Rooney? Do you play for the Steelers or even work for them? Since you write on a blog for a living I assume no. So lighten up the Steelers don’t care about you. They are not your family members. So if a bunch of Ravens fans want to make fun of the Steelers and the stereotypes of the region Pittsburgh is in and the bandwagoning fanbase of the Steelers. Its a lot better than talking about how shitactular the Orioles are. I am just waiting for Ape and Nest to kiss, the sexual tension is unbearable.

  23. Besides why do you care that Nest didn’t watch the Super Bowl? Its his prerogative.

    Skipping the SB because you’re mad your team lost in the playoffs is basically saying you don’t really like football – you’re only interested in gloating when your team wins. That’s a bitch move, and it annoys me that it comes from a guy who bashes other fans/fanbases for not being true fans or knowledgeable about the game. I couldn’t conceive of not watching the SB. I definitely watched all the ones after the Steelers lost AFC Title Games (four in 15 years), no matter how upset I was about it, because there’s no way I’d miss the biggest game of the year.

    P.S. Why’d you delete the “Christmas Ape is a filthy Jew” comment, Nest? Don’t you want the world to know what classy people read your blog?

    /not actually Jewish but does hate Santa
    //last of the long humorless comments

  24. Goob says:

    Ape is just pissed because he hates when people bash his nifty new outfits while shopping at Wal-Mart. Ape, those are some sweet shorts buddy, where can I get a pair?

    I love the customization you made with them as well, I know you tell people you cut a hole out of the back end of them to make it easier for taking a dump, but come on man! we don’t believe that… we know it’s just for easy access.

    And yes I am classy and you’re a douche. I actually read your blog too so that means there are two blogs out there with classy readers. Thanks for ending your humorless comments.

  25. Orangebird says:

    Ape and Nest need to write a peace treaty..

  26. NestMinder says:

    Our peace treaty is that we’re both Terps fans, so we were both sobbing in our beers during the thrashing at the hands of Cal last week.

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