Lookalikes! Browns Edition 2K9
With former head coach Romeo Crennel banished to the world of no-longer-funny Coors Light commercials, we can’t dedicate an entire Lookalikes! post to his goofy lookin’ mug like we did last year.
So, we had to dig a bit deeper down Cleveland’s roster this time around. Luckily though, and to the surprise of exactly nobody, the NFL’s most woeful franchise still have more than their share of Lookalike!-fodder.
The Browns’ struggles in 2009 all start at the top, with their new (and already “Lame Duck”) head coach, Eric Mangini. Mangini, despite being by all accounts 100% humorless himself, looks strikingly similar to comedian Kevin James.
Since the team themselves are nothing short of a 4-hour sitcom on Sundays, Mangini isn’t the only one that looks like a member of prime time “ha ha” television. Defensive back Nick Sorenson has been seen in such movies as “Beerfest,” “Cellular,” and “Dumb and Dumberer,” as well as the sitcom “The Loop” on FOX. Currently, he can be found intercepting absolutely nobody as “Vaughn” on the new NBC comedy “Community” with Chevy Chase and Joel McHale.
The phrase “taking the Browns to the Super Bowl” has been used as a euphemism for going #2. Well, since it’s painfully obvious that there are no “Super Bowls” anywhere in the foreseeable future for Cleveland, Browns linebacker David Veikune has kindly offered up his head as a defecation receptacle.
Way to take one for the team, shithead.
HEY! Here’s something different – a Lookalike! of newly re-minted starting quarterback Brady Quinn, WITHOUT HIS HAND ON ANOTHER MAN’S CROTCH! Instead, it looks as if he is already well prepared for his next career, as the [insert other genre of adult film here] equivalent of porn star Peter North.
Finally, we have wide receiver Mohamed Massaquoi. Were Massaquoi a character in the 2004 film “Team America: World Police,” he would fit in extremely well running around yelling “a durkadurkadurka muhammed jihad! durka lerka durka!”