Lookalikes! Squealers Edition 2K9
Those dastardly clowns in black and gold march into town this week for a prime-time showdown on Sunday night. For the most part, the Steelers players are actually LESS stupid looking than their fans. There are plenty of ugly mofos on the roster though, as we have detailed in the past. Fortunately, their play as of late has been pretty ugly as well, so there may be hope for our heroes in purple.
Question: Will Pittsburgh running back Mendenhall be avoiding Ray Lewis like the plague this week, after Lewis ended his rookie season last year by breaking his shoulder?
Answer: Does a Rashard Rashit in the woods?
Last year, reader “Goob” suggested that we put up a Lookalike! of Hines Ward next to a box of Summer’s Eve(R) Brand feminine hygiene product. While extremely fitting, there are plenty of other squealers who also qualify as Grade A “douche” (see below). Hiney, on the other hand, looks a lot like another guy that used score touchdowns on Sundays.
Scumbag football player? Check.
Running away from the good guys after likely breaking a rule? Check.
Gonna get what’s coming to him? Check and mate.
Now, onto the douche bags.
They say a team takes on the character of their head coach. Well, that makes perfect sense, because the Steelers are total D-bags, just like their King D-Bag leader, who exhibits all the tell-tale signs of a total douche.
- Wears sunglasses all the time, even at night
- Exhibits an undeserved feeling of accomplishment (way to take over the team of one of the best run organizations in sports, inherit a great roster and hall of fame defensive coordinator, and act like you have anything to do with their success). Tool.
Steeler fans like to hate on Ravens fans for our love of Matt Stover. In their defense, this is the kind of kicker they have become accustomed to.
We actually can’t fault you guys all that much for being so anti-kicker love. Kudos for not fully embracing Mr. Reed. Sunday should present some more good opportunities for Fatty Mc-last-line-of-kickoff-return-defense-FAIL over there to work his magic as Lardarius Webb blows by him.