Sunday, October 26th, 2014

Top 10 Reasons to be THANKFUL We’re not Pittsburgh Fans

34

#10.

Heinz Mudcastle

Ketchup-Mush Field

Heinz Field is the biggest piece of Crap football playing surface left in the NFL. Maybe instead of producing all of those damn Terrible Towels they could spend some money on putting together a field that’s just slightly better than the pile of dirt I played in growing up.  Or at least use those towels to sop up some of the mud.

#9.

Pittsburgh Logos

Same Color Unis.

It’s bad enough that everyone else has to see that stupid black and gold for the Squealer fans, but to be as unimaginative as to have all of your teams dress in the same color unis?  Pssssshhhh…lame.  At least the Penguins have those sweet powder blue jerseys.

#8.

Terry-Tubby

Terry Badshaw (see what I did there /poke poke)

Career Numbers: 212 TDs, 210 Ints; 51.9 Completion %, 70.9 Passer Rating.  What. The. Fudge?

Seriously… those numbers are terrible.  Here are all the QBs this season who have a worse completion % than Terry’s career average: JaMarcus Russell, Derek Anderson.  That’s it.

Not enough you say?  Here are all the QBs this season who have a worse Passer Rating than Baldy McBlond put together: Marc Bulger, Brady Quinn, Matthew Stafford, Jake Delhomme, Kerry Collins, Mark Sanchez, JaMarcus Russell, Derek Anderson.  Their teams have a combined 12 wins with them at the helm this season.

Bradshaw gets so much credit for being on those Super Bowl teams when it is clear that Trent Edwards or Shaun Hill could easily have outperformed him if playing for the Steelers.  I’m glad my team history isn’t saturated with this backwater hillbilly asshole.

#7.

Steely Mc-Insert Gay Slur Here

Steely McBeam

Do I need to rant on this one… here I’ll let you finish my thoughts…

“I haven’t seen anything this gay since _________”

#6.
What the Fat?

No Cheerleaders

Come on really?  Even Fox and CBS can find some Michael Tafoya to throw down to the sideline during game day.  Is the “talent” in Pittsburgh that bad that they can’t put together a squad of 25 decent looking girls?  (<-That question is rhetorical)  I mean, I’d be willing to bet Philly has enough leftovers to throw your way Pittsburgh.

#5.

No Wardrobe

Am I the only one who ever notices this?  Everywhere I go, no matter the month, day of week, time of day, venue of the moment… I find people wearing Steelers clothes.  Holy Cow Turd.  How is this possible?  Are you seriously that pathetic you have nothing else to wear?

I feel like these people are everywhere.  Walking their dogs, getting on planes, even church.  Maybe their Xmas wish list should consist of normal clothing.

#4.

ughughughugh

Troy/Ben Media Bromance

I am so damn sick and tired of hearing how awesome these players are.  Every pre-game, “so what do you think about the Steelers Game today?”

“Well if Troy and Ben play…”  Give me an effin break, what does their whole team just explode without them?  “Oh no Troy and Ben are out?  Well gang, we knew this day would come, on the count of 3 everyone hit their Self-Destruct button… 3. KABLAMMO!!!!”  Is the movie 2012 secretly about Pittsburgh and the Steelers when “Troy and Ben” leave?   And have you noticed that unlike the other 1553 NFL players, these two only have first names?  Really people? You would think that these were the only two players on the team.  Enough already.

#3.

Bandwagon Fans.

This had potential #1 written all over it.  If I were a TRUE Steelers fan – from the Pittsburgh area, my parents loved them, their parents liked them and their parents were bandwagon jumpers when they came into the league (of course average life span of Pittsburgh residents back then was probably about 30) – I’d be choking on my french fry sandwich in anger if all the sudden I turned around and every where I go there are 37,839,302,571 “Steelers fans” wearing Super Bowl Forty-Blahblah t-shirts on underneath their “Ben” jerseys.

That bandwagon is FULL people! Get off, and get off quickly, especially since, in case you didn’t hear, the movie 2012 is about the Steelers.

#2

Steeler Fans

“Real” Steeler Fans

/Vooooooohhhhhhmmmmit

//Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhuhuhuhuuuuuuke

That’s how I would feel if I were a Steeler fan looking at our fan base.  There is no better reason to be thankful… except!!!!

#1.


Jeff Reed

Jeff Reed

Wait?  What’s wrong with Jeff Reed?

You’re just jealous cause your kicker was never a bride-to-be!

Your kicker can’t party like Jeff Reed!

He can’t rip paper towel dispensers off the wall like Jeff Reed!

Your kicker doesn’t have mirror self pics like Jeff Reed!

And your kicker can’t even come close to tackling like Jeff Reed (:29 seconds in)!

And with that, we’d like to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to all you Nestgoers!  Sure, being a Ravens fan is tough sometimes…but it could be so much worse.

Comments

34 Responses to “Top 10 Reasons to be THANKFUL We’re not Pittsburgh Fans”
  1. The Future Mrs. Joe Flacco says:

    Hilarious!

  2. Oh Nest.

    I came here for the first time in a while to get further fired up about this game and you bring this weak sauce? The usual patter about bandwagon fans and Jeff Reed? C’mon. I know you’re capable of better hate.

    And the Bradshaw criticism was just plain stupid. He played in a different, pre-West Coast Offense, era of the game when they chucked the ball downfield more often, resulting in more INTs.

    Also: Quarterbacks this season who have a better passer rating than “best QB ever” Johnny Unitas’ career mark (78.2): Brett Favre, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Matt Schaub, Philip Rivers, Ben Roethlisberger, Donovan McNabb, Kurt Warner, Eli Manning, Tony Romo, Joe Flacco, Kyle Orton, Carson Palmer, Jason Campbell, David Garrard, Matt Hasselbeck, Alex Smith, Matt Ryan and Shaun Hill.

    That’s 21 guys. I guess Unitas wasn’t so great either, huh? Looks like Shaun Hill could have outperformed him on the Colts, amiright?

  3. Realist says:

    Right, cause noone throws the ball down field without being intercepted anymore. Ask Tom Brady or Donovan McNabb how that works. I’m pretty sure they don’t throw 1 to 1 interceptions to touchdowns.

  4. Matt says:

    Waaaahhhhh Waaaahhhh. That my Ape impression. Actually the most overrated Quarterback of all time is Joe Namath he won one game and was basically a mediocre Quarterback the rest. So he is the late 1960′s version of Eli Manning minus whatever sex appeal Broadway Joe had.

  5. Goob says:

    I really liked the Ape-less version of the website for a while. Even though we haven’t been winning since he has shut up.. maybe we need him talking on here. If you go back and check the stats… on weeks that Ape comments, the Ravens are doing far better than the Steelers. Keep yapping Ape.. Keep Yapping

  6. Top10ReasonsRavensChokeInPrimetime says:

    Where’s the bold prediction for this week?

  7. Matt says:

    I always thought Ape was a Giants fan. Who knew that he was a Steelers fan. I’m thankful that I don’t associate myself with White Trash America’s Team.

  8. Top10ReasonsRavensChokeInPrimetime says:

    But are you thankful you associate yourself with Murderer Row’s Team?

  9. Matt says:

    I’m not a Yankees fan either

  10. Matt says:

    BREAKING NEWS… Ben Roesthilsberger is OUT for tomorrow game. Congrats to Dennis Dixon who is starting his first NFL game. I remembered him at Oregon he was actually pretty good.

  11. Goob, if you actually believe in jinxes, you might want to blame Nest for this post:

    http://www.bmorebirdsnest.com/?p=392

  12. NestMinder says:

    Let’s keep it about football, gentlemen.

  13. In Nestminder’s defense, Reed is a Giant douche…I found research done that could help the Steelers battle their douchebaggery…the guys is a genius, and I know that because he’s me…enjoy!

    http://tailgate365.com/ravens/2009/12/dr-stephen-battles-douchbaggery-in-pittsburgh/

  14. STEEL6 says:

    This is the worst list that has ever been assembled, it laughable to try and even compare these two franchises. Steelers: 6 Ravens: 1. You would have to go back to the 1972 to find the last steelers game that was not sold out. And if were talking about “gay”, u represent a purple bird hahahah faggots. Can’t wait for these pussies to come into the burgh and get knocked the fuck out…willis maghee ring a bell.

    GOO STEELERS!!!!!!!

  15. PurplePride says:

    Love it! just what TRUE Ravens fans need to brighten up this rainy day in Maryland. Hilarious!

  16. Scott says:

    @STEEL6

    1) Way to zing the site on a post that is over ten months old.

    2) The Common Raven (Corvus corax) which Baltimore’s team is named after is not purple, but happens to be black (or a very, very dark brown since the “color” black does not exist in the natural world).

    3) If you are going to use coarse language, at least make it clever. Otherwise, you just sound like an angry junior high student and that pretty much negates any point you could possibly attempt to make.

  17. NestMinder says:

    Let’s not forget:

    Colts Super Bowls + Baltimore Stars Championship + Baltimore Stallions Championship + Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl = 6 championships, same as Pittsburgh.

    Seriously, that’s about as relevant as bringing up Super Bowls from the 70′s. If you say “2 this decade to 1,” then thats a fair point. Get out of here with that Six bullshit.

    And with an email handle like “mdsteeler” or whatever, I see you’re a bandwagon jumper as well. Kudos.

  18. PurplePride says:

    Do you have any idea how many people in MD support the Steelers? talk about bandwagon fans,urgh.

  19. NestMinder says:

    Yup, and they should all be handed mandated transfers to Pennsyltucky immediately.

  20. Goob says:

    6 – the amount of games your star quarterback was suspended for raping ugly girls in bar bathrooms. Shut the he’ll up with the 6 stuff, it’s only embarrassing for you now.

  21. Steve says:

    Why are you complaining about bandwagon fans when your team didn’t even exist 15 years ago? By your definition, unless your parents and grandparents followed the team, you’re not a true fan. Based on that, your entire fanbase would be bandwagon.

  22. The Ravens Daddy says:

    And the idiot that wrote this, is the number one reason I am a Steelers fan. Stick to watching soccer, and watching Ovechkin choke.

  23. NestMinder says:

    Steve, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever read.

    So every fan of Houston, Jacksonville, Carolina, Tennessee, etc. are bandwagon fans?

    Being a fan of your home team is NEVER bandwagon. Lakers fans, Yankees fans, Steelers fans…unless your or your immediate family is from LA, NY, or Pittsburgh, yes, that makes you a complete bandwagon rider.

    You fail comprehension 101.

  24. NestMinder says:

    @The Ravens Daddy

    So now I’m a Capitals fan? Nobody cares about hockey except Canadians and diptards in Pittsburgh.

    Crosby does suck though.

  25. pittsburgh pride says:

    Its always the loers and the wanna bees that make stupid comments like this. The only smart thing to say is scoreboard. Answer yourself this question. Since your team has been called the ravens how many time have you won the division. And then answer how many we have won. We aren’t called the city of CHAMPIONS becaue it looks good on paper. And we don’t have cheerleaders because we don’t have to distract our fans they are already have omething great to look at their pittsburgh steelers.

  26. NestMinder says:

    “Its always the loers and the wanna bees”

    Buzz, buzz, I suppose.

    The rest of that nonsense is too terribly spelled and punctuated for me to even make out. Let me introduce you to a little something called a “question mark…”

    You hold down shift and press the button that would otherwise result in this: /

    And you get: ?

    Was that so hard?

    And nobody calls you “The City of Champions,” except your own poor, sad, deluded residents.

  27. 6 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    SHUT IT!

  28. Matt says:

    “The loers” that his some high Western Pennsylvania education. Why does every Steelers fan think we root for the choking dogs that are the Washington Crapitals? Dude Hockey is Homos(Why do you think Sidney Crosby is their biggest star) and Canadians and disgruntled Redskins fans who hate their team.

  29. Nic Ellis says:

    6 rings..about to be 7. Easy to hate on the team with the most rings. There’s only one reason I’m thankful not to be a Ravens fan….”Can’t beat the Steelers.” Only reason I need

  30. Matt says:

    Yeah but we don’t have to live in Pittsburgh. Most livable city my ass. I spent a weekend there when I was in college and couldn’t wait to leave.

  31. NestMinder says:

    That guy must have hated it too. That comment was from Idaho.

  32. Matt says:

    Nic Ellis toot toot all aboard the bandwagon, let me guess you were a Cowboys fan in the 90′s.

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  1. [...] The last time the Ravens and Steelers met, it was Thanksgiving-time. The purple feasted on the Steelers’ backups, and, in true Thanksgiving fashion, forced them off the land of B’More and relegated them to the reservation of western Pennsyltucky. The Nest, in the spirit of the season, gave thanks for all the reasons we’re glad we aren’t Steelers fans. [...]



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