Wednesday, July 30th, 2014

Lookalikes! Lions Edition

5

We kick off the middle leg of our three-week NFC North Lookalike-fest with Detroit Lions punter Nick Harris, who looks a good bit like Andre from the great new FX show “The League.” Andre, who drafted Plaxico Burress this season, is apparently gettin’ freaky with “Shiva,” the namesake of the Fantasy Football League Trophy. I’m quite interested to see how this ends in tonight’s season finale.

AndrePunter

Lions’ WR Bryant Johnson bears a striking resemblance to that other Gooding brother, Omar. Like his more famous brother, Cuba, Omar also peaked way too soon.

Gooding

Everybody remember “Wild and Crazy Kids?” Man, what a show.

Back when we were young, kids had fun OUTSIDE, damn it. Sure, Nintendo was cool, but 16-bits is really only good for about 6 hours of entertainment per week. These fat little bastards nowadays and their XBoxes…I tell ya.

/jealous
//would be a fat ass too if he had all day to play Madden ’10 on PS3

Anyway.

Speaking of memories, who remembers LaVar Arrington?

He was all set to be the next great linebacker in the NFL. In my first fantasy football league, there was a team named “Guns don’t kill people, LAVAR KILLS PEOPLE.” Then he just kinda disappeared. I think maybe he got hurt a bunch of times or something? Seriously, I remember being completely shocked when I heard that Lavar was out of the league for good.

Well, it turns out he’s been fooling us all along, as he reentered the league with a new name – Ernie Sims.

SimsArrington

Next up are a pair of Lookalikes of injured rookie QB Matthew Stafford.

First we have this duck-face:

Stafford Duck

Followed by Matty Poo posing with the most pathetic trophy I’ve ever seen.

TinyTrophy

Did your mom make that for you, Matt?

Finally today we turn our attention to Lions’ first-year head coach and former Arbutus, Maryland resident Jim Schwartz.

Some coaches take a “tough love” attitude to their responsibilities. It appears as though Jimmy might have a different kind of love in mind.

Jim Bruno

Lookin’….uh…tough….there, Jimbo.

NOW GO LOSE BY 50 IN THE STADIUM IN WHICH YOU’RE STILL A PSL HOLDER!

Comments

5 Responses to “Lookalikes! Lions Edition”
  1. Matt says:

    Don’t make fun of the Capital One Bowl trophy because that what you win if you are a 2nd rate SEC or Big Ten school.

  2. urmom says:

    Spoiler Alert!!! Nick Harris won the Sheva Bowl!

  3. well, Schwartz is from Mt. St. Joe, so he is very Bruno-esque…Mt. St. Joe boys take turns wearing the dresses at prom (with love from St. Mary’s..GO SAINTS!)

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