Thursday, October 23rd, 2014

Lookalikes! Steelers Xmas Villains Edition

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The last time the Ravens and Steelers met, it was Thanksgiving-time. The purple feasted on the Steelers’ backups, and, in true Thanksgiving fashion, forced them off the land of B’More and relegated them to the reservation of western Pennsyltucky. The Nest, in the spirit of the season, gave thanks for all the reasons we’re glad we aren’t Steelers fans.

This time around, its another Holiday, and another meeting with the Black-and-Yeller. What better time to use our weekly Lookalikes! to dive into the many ways in which the members of the Pittsburgh Football organization (past and present) hate Christmas, Santa Claus, the Salvation Army, Rudolph, and YOU?

Everyone’s favorite 24-hour marathon Christmas Movie, “A Christmas Story” featured antagonist bully Scott Farkus. I’m pretty sure that, at some point in his life, Farkus changed his name to “Rocky Boiman,” before learning to play football and signing with the Squealers.

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Steelers’ owner/chairman (and United States Ambassador to Ireland) Dan Rooney is disgusted by the poor, puts orphanages out of business with his partner Marley, and will be visited by 3 ghosts on Christmas Eve. Or at least, he looks like (Jim Carrey’s) Ebenezer Scrooge, the guy I actually just described.

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Former Shittsburgh Head Coach Bill Cowher, now that he has taken a break from coaching, has taken up magic. His stage name is “Professor Hinkle,” and if any snowmen come to life on the power of magic hats that belong to him, he will show no mercy to the snowman nor the children who love to watch him laugh and play, in his quest to gain back his hat.

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Hines Ward is known for two things: Cheap shots, and smiles. You know who else likes to smile a lot? That’s right, guys that plan on stealing every Christmas present in ENTIRE TOWNS!

Hines Grinch

What Lookalikes! (or any Steeler-hating piece for that matter) would be complete without old faithful, Jeff Reed. We’ve been over the laundry list of stupid looking poses, dumb hairstyles, and drunken hijinks of Reed before, but until now, never realized that he was the “Heat Miser” in the Childrens’ classic, “The Year Without a Santa Claus.”

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Now, since it’s Christmas and all, I’ll give a gift to any Steeler-fan vermin that happen to stumble upon this post.

The Ravens aren’t exempt from showing up in Christmas movies. Why, just the other day, I was watching “The Muppet Christmas Carol,” and, lo and behold, Joe Flacco!

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Happy Holidays to all, and GO RAVENS!

Comments

7 Responses to “Lookalikes! Steelers Xmas Villains Edition”
  1. The Future Mrs. Joe Flacco says:

    Love it! Happy holidays! :)

  2. Goob says:

    Jeff Reed is such a douche!

  3. Goob says:

    Where the hell is Christmas Ape??? Tis the season for trash talk and just because his team is looking up at us in the standings apparently he just forgot how to trash talk?

    I guess I couldn’t trash talk either if I had lost to the Ravens, Chiefs, Raiders etc…

  4. NestMinder says:

    Be careful what you wish for.

  5. Matt says:

    Nest is very good at identifying who the best player of the Ravens at any certain game. The mostly mangled Domonique Foxworth won AFC Defensive player of the week. It was pretty good week for the AFC North. Big Ben won AFC Offensive player of the week and Josh Cribbs won the AFC Special Teams Player of the week also.

  6. urmom says:

    Nice work. Probably my favorite look alike this year!

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