Thursday, April 24th, 2014

Oriole Way: After Sweeping Someone…Get Swept!

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Lou Montanez runs into the center-field wall at Yankee Stadium after missing a fly ball by New York's Mark Teixeira in the fourth inning.

Are you kidding me? Just as things semi-started to look good, the Orioles traded the role of “sweepers” to “sweep-ee’s” against the Yankees.

What a better way to follow up three straight wins against a hated divisional foe than to lose the next three games against an even more hated divisional foe? Now that’s the Oriole Way!

Now before all of you attack me for not saying anything positive, I meant to put up a post about our sweep of the Red Sux but have been absolutely slammed with work. Plus, there was no way this “organization” is worthy of two consecutive positive posts.

The only positive posts back to back you will ever see are:

1.) Peter Angelos died/sold the team/committed suicide/is a vegetable

2.) Cal Ripken or someone with some baseball knowledge takes over this franchise

Since I’m on this kick of listing items, lets try it again with a different theme!

The only way the Orioles could beat down Yankee pitching this road series was for some pretty unrealistic things to happen; they include:

1.) C.C. Sabathia’s fat ass had a heart attack on the mound

2.) Instead of fans running on the field in Philadelphia, some bikers would jump the fence and kick the crap out of A.J. Burnett for disgracing all bikers with arm tattoos.

aj_kenny_yanks.jpg

3.) One of the 87 WNST road trippers who wasted their day traveling to the Bronx snuck a laptop into the stadium and drained all the Yankees’ bank accounts, thus making the overpaid players give up.

Nestor J. Aparicio

None of these happened so we just didn’t stand a chance. I think we have learned one thing so far from this season, positive things will not happen consecutively!

We all know the season is shot and there is practically no chance of the playoffs, so lets start making this season mean something. Like, WORST team in baseball – they are currently 3 games ahead of the Cleveland Indians for the worst record in the American League and 1 game ahead of the Houston Astros for worst overall team in baseball.

There you have it folks, look at me taking this lemon of a season and turning it into lemonade.  UUUGGGHHHHH

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