Monday, October 20th, 2014

Rookie Report: Narcoleptic Cheeseburgers

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codyburger

Now there’s a headline I bet you never thought you’d read.

I know it’s one I never expected to write, but here we are.

The Ravens’ top 2 draft picks, “Mount” Terrence Cody and Sergio Kindle, are making quite an impression during this, the first week of training camp.

Cody, as we’ve all heard way too many times already (seriously, it was a headline on Huffington Post the other day – Really?!), failed his conditioning test twice on Tuesday. He then passed it on Wednesday. For some reason, the latter story wasn’t plastered all over Yahoo, MSN, Drudge Report, and FatGuysthatCantRun.com. Peculiar.

For his trouble, Cody was bestowed a much less flattering nickname than he had been used to.

Cody has also taken some ribbing from his teammates after he was unable to practice. Defensive tackle Haloti Ngata has nicknamed him “cheeseburger.”

As for Kindle, it’s been well publicized that he fell down two flights of stairs, fractured his skull, and nobody has any idea of when he’ll be able to suit up and play football again. People have speculated that Kindle’s story about taking a wrong turn in an unfamiliar house is BS, and that there were more nefarious factors at play. This is based on Kindle’s spotty past, which includes a DUI and a car wreck caused by driving while texting.

However, Kindle’s former coach offered up this take: Kindle has narcolepsy.

University of Texas coach Mack Brown said Sergio Kindle’s recent fall down two flights of stairs might have been the result of narcolepsy, according to Orangebloods.com’s Chip Brown.

Before the Ravens drafted Kindle, there was a report that said he takes medication for narcolepsy (there are reports that he fell asleep during team meetings) and Attention Deficit Disorder.

After they drafted Kindle, the Ravens were asked about the report that Kindle takes medication for narcolepsy and ADD. At that point, Ravens general manager Ozzie Newsome and director of player personnel Eric DeCosta looked at each other before laughing. “If it was a concern, we probably wouldn’t have picked him,” DeCosta said at the time.

Narcolepsy is a neurological disorder that affects the control of sleep and wakefulness. Some researchers believe there might be a link between narcolepsy and sleepwalking.

This circus just keeps getting wilder. Hell, the only person I have ever known of with narcolepsy was that chick in “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.”

Kindle Narco

Let’s cross our fingers that both these rookies get their acts together – Cody with his conditioning and Kindle with his head (literally and figuratively) – ASAP. And that the next few weeks bring a lot more football news and familiar-sounding headlines that those which we’ve endured so far this week.

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