Monday, March 30th, 2015

Lookalikes! Bills Edition


The Ravens take on the Buffalo Bills this week, a team they haven’t met since the 2007 season. As such, we’ve never done a Bills version of Lookalikes! up until now, and their roster is just full of goofy and/or familiar looking players. Let’s get down to it…

We’ll start with an easy one. Although we’ve never done the Bills before, we HAVE done quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, back when he was with the Cincinnati Bengals in 2008. Still looking like Emile Hirsch, Mr. Harvard?

Ah, I see you are.

Moving right along then.

Here’s long snapper Garrison Sanborn, who you may recognize from the hit movie, “The Hangover:”

Not so much? Alright, alright we can do better.

Second tight end Jonathan Stupar probably had some awful nicknames growing up, given that unfortunate last name. However, in recent years, he seems to have adopted the simple moniker “Mac.”

Next up, we have eighth year linebacker Chris Kelsay, who is a dead ringer for heavy metal rocker Henry Rollins:

I’m not sure if Rollins ever played football, but I bet he’d make one bad ass linebacker if he did. Much better than Kelsay, anyway.

Speaking of linebackers, fourth year veteran Paul Posluszny was very highly thought of as a second round draft pick from “Linebacker U,” Penn State. However, injuries have plagued him throughout his short career, as he has played in all 16 games just once.

Maybe he wouldn’t get injured so damn much if he didn’t spend all of his down time swinging through trees…

Alright. If you’ve stuck with us this far, through this admittedly (thus far) bland set of lookalikes, you’re about to be rewarded.

Remember the 2003 movie “Bad Santa” starring Billy Bob Thornton? If so, you’ll also no doubt remember the flick’s co-star, this kid:

Well, he’s all grown up now, and is an offensive lineman for the Buffalo Bills! Behold:

Aww, he’s still got those cute fat little cheeks!

Hey, you know what I just noticed? Apparently Buffalo has the “All Goofy Looking White Dudes” roster. No wonder they are 0-5. Unfortunately though, as we’ve seen so far this season, white guys tend to give the Ravens fits (see: Danny Woodhead, Peyton Hillis). Luckily none of the above guys are running backs…

Go Ravens.


3 Responses to “Lookalikes! Bills Edition”
  1. Scott says:

    Galifianakis is a bit of a stretch, but Rollins, Tarzan, and the Bad Santa kid are dead on.

  2. Steve says:

    I always thought Paul Posluszny looked like Brendan Fraser

  3. Nestminder says:

    Funny you say that Steve…it was between Tarzan and George of the Jungle…played by Brendan Fraser.

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