Saturday, November 1st, 2014

Goob’s Pregame Thoughts: Ravens vs. Bills

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Here’s Goob Theoharris with another installment of “Goob’s Pregame Thoughts.”  In this week’s edition, he takes aim at Buffalo, with its horrible climate, Super Bowl failures, and team full of players we’ve never heard of.  We don’t really hate ya, Buffalo, but you’re next on the schedule, and you gots ta get dealt with.

Comments

50 Responses to “Goob’s Pregame Thoughts: Ravens vs. Bills”
  1. Ken4Bills says:

    Hey dumbass, your vid is boring. I lived in the Baltimore area for about 9 years and I’m glad I don’t anymore – the place sucks! Leave the fans’ situations out of your commentary. Trust me, Buffalo may be lacking in the job market but I can guarantee that Baltimore has Buffalo beat in freeloading dirtbags who don’t even WANT to find a job.

    That said, you’re an fool to think four AFC Championships IN A ROW isn’t a big deal. Would have been nice to win one, yes, but I haven’t seen the Ravens making too many return trips either.

    Bills and their fans have suffered for over 10 years now due to poor management. Hopefully the Ravens never get caught up in that kind of mess. If they do, and their losses outweigh their wins, I’ll check back here to see if you’re still talking smack, and I don’t think you will be.

  2. NestMinder says:

    Bills and their fans have suffered for over 10 years now due to poor management.

    Sounds like the Orioles. I still talk smack as an O’s fan, though I obviously have no business doing so.

    Also, Goob isn’t boring YOU’RE BORING!

    /burrrrrrrrrrrn

  3. HowaBoutThemColts says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! What a tool! If I were a ravens fan I’d be utterly humiliated that this clown was doing pre-game internet reviews for my home town… abidee, abidee, abidee….errr, um….Oh there’s the cue card, but I’ll look at it quick…. hope no-one saw that….

    wow….comparing weather, really? Take a quick look at how off that analysis was… and on to the team comparisons… I really find it hard to think as a Baltimore fan you can look down your nose as your own GREAT Colts left you like an overwieght ex-wife!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

    This is getting posted on epic FAIL boards everywhere!! I’ll be surprised this joker will have the nerve to do one next week…. ohhh my sides are still hurting me….. I’m actually on the phone with my brother in Texas right now to hear him watch this over the phone….. I really hope this wasn’t a joke…. wait! Am I getting punked? Where’s Ashton Kutcher!!!

    Who cares who wins this game, this was epic….

  4. Well I guess being subjected to assholes making comments comes with the territory when you make videos online. Is this video one of the lower quality ones I’ve made this year… yes, but in my defense, it’s also hard to talk about the Bills period.

    As far for criticism, I don’t give a shit. My biggest critic is myself and I frankly don’t care what you jackoffs have to say about me or the videos. Please go ahead and post it on epic fail boards everywhere, be my guest. I’m a true believer that all publicity is good publicity. People will see my other videos which are pretty clever (Pats and Ravens fan interviews) and happen to check back more.

    I am a joker and I will have the nerve to do this next week. You know what, I’ll have the nerve to do a post game report as well just to show you that I frankly don’t give a flying fuck about you assholes. Not to sound biased but there aren’t many better Ravens preview videos on the internet, hell, even the ones owned by the team suck ass. Most of the videos online talking about the Ravens are far less entertaining or get a lot of viewers becasue the person talking has a vagina.

    So please post on haters, we would love the publicity.

  5. HowaBoutThemColts says:

    you should do retrospective reviews of the games they played in 1987…. oops nope. ok… 1988 then…. oops nope again…. ok, maybe 1992…..arghhhh!! that’s right…. No Team!!!! Ohh well, enjoy the Cleveland Browns, and it’s nice to see how low brow your response was, actually. Your Mom is calling you, make sure you turn off the lights before you leave the basement…. hehehehe…

  6. NestMinder says:

    http://forums.twobillsdrive.com/topic/121905-ok-you-have-to-watch-this-tool/

    K-GunForever:

    I made up a username called “HowaBoutThemColts” – had to write something… I hope they dont delete my comments…. if they do, here’s what I wrote:

    Nobody is deleting your comments, toolbox, they’re far too entertaining and pathetic. Maybe you should listen to this guy though:

    joejoebills:

    wow you really showed him…???

    relax dude, the bills are pathetic and so is the city of buffalo, don’t take yourself so seriously…

    gobills

    And its not Coors Cutter, its flying dog, but I wouldn’t expect you to know anything about good beer.

  7. HalotiNgataIsYourGod says:

    Hey HowaBoutThemColts, how did it feel to get raped in the butthole by the Saints last year? Also, you guys just lost to the Jaguars, so you just lost any right to trash talk PERIOD.

    And Bills fans, you are the New York Mets of football: You’re really crappy, and you’re hilarious to watch.

  8. CJ says:

    The Bills suck

    Buffalo sucks

    And the GooGoo Dolls….REALLY SUCK

    Seriously, the Goo Goo Dolls? That’s the best artists you can crank out? No wonder it’s a sad place.

    TORONTO BILLS HELLO

  9. the tomcat says:

    This from a guy who 1. Doesn’t drink his beer and 2. Is a Peckerhead!

  10. Nestminder says:

    Can’t lie…

    I REALLY like the Goo Goo Dolls.

  11. You're Still the Browns says:

    Baltimore is ghetto as hell. I’d take some lake effect snow over the sound of multiple gunshots and drive-bys

  12. Nestminder says:

    I’m sure you would, because you secretly long to be Canadian, just like your football team.

  13. Brent says:

    I’m not gonna stoop to your level and bash the Ravens for no reason, but I do have an issue with some of your comments.

    1.) “Not only do we have sun in the sky and temperatures above freezing…”
    Average yearly temperature in Baltimore – 55.1 and Buffalo – 47.7.

    2.) “…but, people also have jobs”
    Unemployment rate in Baltimore according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics – 8.2% and Buffalo – 7.6%. Just in case you are confused, the smaller number is better.

    http://www.bls.gov/web/metro/laummtrk.htm

    3.) “….and a team with passionate fans”
    The Bills haven’t made the playoffs in 10 years, and we just had our first blackout in 27 home games. Baltimore’s worst playoff drought has been 4 years, and that was during the first 4 years of the franchise….I figured that I would let you know when it was because you probably weren’t a fan back when they were losing.

    4.) Making fun of the Bills QB situation.
    Now all Bills fans realize that we need a franchise QB, however Fitzpatrick hasn’t been the problem this season. Lets compare Fitzpatrick’s stats to Joe Flacco’s:

    Fitzpatrick – 198.3 YPG, 7 TD, 2 INT, 99.4 QB rating…..4th in the NFL
    Flacco – 233.5 YPG, 7 TD, 6 INT, 80.2 QB rating….22nd in the NFL

    Now regardless of this seasons stats I would still rather have Flacco over Fitzpatrick, but if you are a fan of the NFL, you would know that Ryan Fitzpatrick has been putting in a solid year.

    5.) Ripping on our RB situation and acting like Marshawn Lynch would have been our starter if he was still with the Bills.

    Fred Jackson has been the Bills best running back for the past two years, and the Bills were only starting Marshawn early in the season to showcase him for a trade. Fred Jackson is one of the most underrated backs in the league. Last season he was the first player in NFL history to rush for over 1,000 yards and total over 1,000 yards off of kick returns. He plays behind a terrible o-line and yet still puts up solid numbers. Here are some of stats from last year:

    Fred Jackson 237 Att 1,062 Yds 4.5 Ypc 43 46 Rec 371 Yds

    Clip of a Fred Jackson run from week 5:
    http://www.nfl.com/videos/buffalo-bills/09000d5d81b39055/RB-Jackson-31-yd-run

    Pretty much less than half of your points have any validity, and then you bring out extremely random facts at the end of the video. The only point that was worthwhile was your points per game stat. Our defense has been horrendous and has been our biggest weakness….especially or run D.

    Maybe next time you should spend more time checking the validity of your claims, and less time searching for random facts like, “it’s also been 5 games since they had a 100 yard rusher”. Maybe you have never heard of a running back by committee or the fact that when your team gets gashed on the ground the generally lose the time of possession battle which limits their offensive possessions. Not to mention, Jackson and Spiller ran for 104 yards against the Jags last week and they combined to average 6.1 yards per carry. Jackson finished the game with 73 yards on 12 carries and he only received one carry in the last 21 minutes of the game because we were behind. Believe it or not, teams don’t try and pound the ball when they are down 2 scores.

  14. Nestminder says:

    Holy Shit, thanks for that encyclopedia entry there, Bill Nye the science guy.

    I know there its hard to have a sense of humor stuck up there in dreary ass Niagara Falls land, but they are J-O-K-E-S. Lighten up.

  15. Nestminder says:

    Hey, something just occurred to me…a lot of you Bills fans are probably also Yankees fans, huh?

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, GO RANGERS!

  16. Brent says:

    Bashing an entire city and a fan base isn’t that great of a joke. Probably the most amusing thing I got from that video was the fact that a man in his late 20s to early 30s films himself talking about a sports team while wearing a hat made for children. But hey, at least I can take solace knowing that the Bills aren’t the biggest joke out there.

  17. LABillsFan says:

    Hey dweeb or goober or whoever you are:

    Wow, pretty low to make reference to Bills fans and their unemployment rate– Are you kidding?  I don’t see the correlation between football and socio-economics. The weather comments really took me for a spin. Try selling that one here in Los Angeles. 

    In reference to the Bills not being better than a  high school football team:

    I am sorry your tryout for the official ass-wipe of the Buffalo Bills turned out so shitty for you; there is always next year. But hey, dont take it out on us fans for your sorry ass tryout. Anyway, you do give new meaning to the phrase crackwhore. 

    And really, your celebrating the 10th anniversary of NOT making it to the super bowl.  Well, congrats…

    Oh, ps, try cleaning the shit out of your mouth before flapping your beak. 
     

  18. NestMinder says:

    Not making it to the Super Bowl?

    The Ravens won SB 35, dipshit. And congrats on getting out of Buffalo.

    Damn…Goob said he had trouble coming up with anything to talk about with the Bills. At least we know what to make fun of next time – whiny ass Bills fans.

    “Wahhhhh, stop making funnn of ussssss! Bringing up the weather and unemployment? No faiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”

  19. RavensAreGood says:

    …all this coming from a guy wearing a Raven on his head…

  20. NestMinder says:

    Funny thing is, how upset people are getting about things that a guy with a foam Raven on his head says.

    It’s like getting mad at Bozo the Clown for his political views.

  21. LABillsFan says:

    It is what it is pal.  Simple math for you and your crony. Ravens won in 2000 and this year’s super bowl is in 2011, which makes the ten year anniversary of NOT making it to the super bowl. Once again congrats…

  22. NestMinder says:

    Ok, Chief….

    They won in the 2000 season…the year the Super Bowl was in…2001.

    This is the 2010 season…and the Super Bowl is in 2011.

    2010 – 2000 = 10!

    Or, if I have to break it down further:

    2001 season : 1st anniversary
    2002: 2nd
    2003: 3rd
    2004: 4th
    2005: 5th
    2006: 6th
    2007: 7th
    2008: 8th
    2009: 9th
    2010: TENTH

    Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

  23. CJ says:

    None of these posters are really from Buffalo. They don’t even have internet there.

  24. Matt says:

    Greatest moment in Super Bowl History:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCHZFwDCNyA

    Listen Bills fans your team gone from Boy I Love Losing Superbowls to Boy I Love Losing. Enjoy your Buffalo Wings and 9 months of winter and your team moving to Canada.

  25. ieatcrayonz says:

    Dude you really should re-think your video. The Bills are not having a good year but they have great fans. The Bills haven’t won in forever and yet they keep selling out the stadium. We are making some of the right moves and the progress will be gradual but the fans will never leave no matter how slow the progress.

    Slamming fans is not the answer. I was sad when watching the 30 for 30 video about the Colts leaving Baltimore. I remember hearing about the supposedly great Baltimore team that lost the Super Bowl to a dude who wore women’s undergarments. That was a bad game for Baltimore but no reason to slam their fans. Naming their new stolen team after a crow is also dumb but not the fans fault. You can find bad stuff about any team or city.

    There is a guy named ajzepp who still does a video every week that is far superior to yours. This despite the Bills having almost no shot of winning each week. His video is all class. You should watch it and take some pointers. He even gets a girl to go on the video with him which seems like a miracle when you see the dude. I’m not sure if it is Lana or not. Anyway, good luck finding a girl for your video. That one from the Jets might be free but don’t e-mail her pictures as it has proven to be a losing stratregy.

  26. HalotiNgataIsYourGod says:

    The Bills still have fans? Wow, learn something new everyday. P.S. Last time the Ravens DIDN’T sellout a home game? Try NEVER. And the Bills aren’t the biggest joke in the NFL? Please tell me who is. It used to be Cleveland, but hey at least they’ve won a game! Congratulations on surpassing Cleveland for most pathetic franchise in the NFL. How does it feel Bills fans?

  27. HalotiNgataIsYourGod says:

    And did somebody just try to argue that Ryan Fitzpatrick is a legitimate QB? Please, Jim Abbott’s stump is stronger than Fitzpatrick’s arm. And you can’t throw INTs if you throw the ball away all the time and are constantly checking down to your running back because your receivers suck. I will take a QB like Flacco over Fitzpatrick any day of the year.

  28. Nestminder says:

    In fairness, he also said he would take Flacco over Fitzy.

  29. HalotiNgataIsYourGod says:

    Ryan Fitzpatrick. And “solid year” do not belong in the same sentence.

  30. Brent says:

    Your right Haloti….I need to contact NFL.com and make them change their stats. I’m sorry that I try to bring facts to the table, something all of you have failed to do.

    Where has Goob been to defend himself?? I provided legitimate facts to refute most of his claims and he has still yet to be heard from.

    I wouldn’t have felt the need to post on this site if he had only insulted the Bills, but insulting an entire city and their fans is unnecessary and it shows how low class of an individual Goob is. I love when fans get cocky because their team is playing well; as if they had anything to do it.

    If Ray Lewis wants to come out and bash the Bills that’s fine, he has a reason to be confident because he is the one who is on top right now. Whereas Goob on the other hand is just another disillusioned fan who believes that the team’s successes are his own. You have no reason to be coocky Goob, you are a middle aged man who posts hack videos while wearing a raven on your head.

    You guys should check out the movie “Big Fan”, the main character is based off of guys like Goob.

  31. Scott says:

    I’m here to help, Bills fans!!! The Vagisil company headquarters is located in White Plains, NY! Just make that six hour drive down the state and they will be able to take care of all of your irritated, humorless, vaginal needs!

    Seriously, you people make WNBA fans look tough. Call him an asshole and move on.

  32. Matt says:

    I would expect this crap from Steelers fans but most Bills fans? Seriously guys lighten up.

  33. realist says:

    haha…middle aged man. Now thats an insult, Goob.

  34. HereWeGo says:

    Here to deflect some of the hate…. Matt, why is it that almost every one of your posts references the Steelers? The last 3 topics you have commented on have been the Bills, Play Like a Raven, and Tom Brady, yet each time you mention the Steelers! Have a bit of an obsession there bud?

  35. I will be saving all comments for my next video after todays game. Check back Monday

  36. Matt says:

    Well maybe its because they are our BIGGEST RIVAL!!!!!!!!

  37. Fear The Unibrow says:

    When one thinks of buffalo, 3 things come to mind. Garbage plates, garbage football, and a dying city. Jackass fans who try to overload opposing teams message boards and sports radio stations would be in the too, but I seriously don’t think the bills have any fans left that aren’t canadian. At what point do the bills just make the full transition and move over to the CFL eh?

    Also, thanks for ruining CJ Spiller. Hopefully he will get traded before the city of buffalo has fully depressed out any talent he has left.

  38. Brent says:

    Goob, I’m assuming you’re waiting till after the game to bash the Bills and say I told you so after the game. If this is going to be your big respite then you don’t understand the objection many us took with your video. I watched your Ravens vs Patriots video, and it was much better then this weeks. If you would have left your bashing to the Bills many people wouldn’t have taken offence to the video.

    After 10 years of watching the Bills lose you grow a thick skin to the negativity hurled at the Bills. None of us are in denial about the current state of the Bills. Not only that, but many of us are envious of the job that Ozzie Newsome has done for the Ravens. The man knows what it takes to build a winner, unlike the Bills FO.

    Hopefully we get to see a good game today and no players are injured. Good luck.

  39. LABillsFan says:

    Hey Ass-wipe or doob or lube:

    In reference to my initial post; you just might have a job yet– as the Bills official ass-wipe, cuz there ain’t a single fan in that sorry ass, punk ass town of Bmore that didn’t just SHAT themselves. Good luck cleaning that mess up…

    PS: thanks for the highlight wheels

  40. Fear The Unibrow says:

    Leave it to a bills fan (LABILLSFAN) to celebrate a lose…

  41. Nestminder says:

    Also, leave it to LABillsFan to not even acknowledge the fact that I proved he can’t even count earlier.

    Lemme guess, Hollywood…you’re just waiting tables while you wait for someone to pick up your screenplay?

  42. Kevin says:

    HalotiNgataIsYourGod says:
    October 23, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    And did somebody just try to argue that Ryan Fitzpatrick is a legitimate QB? Please, Jim Abbott’s stump is stronger than Fitzpatrick’s arm. And you can’t throw INTs if you throw the ball away all the time and are constantly checking down to your running back because your receivers suck. I will take a QB like Flacco over Fitzpatrick any day of the year.

    I’d still take Flacco over Fitzpatrick, but I’d say he’s a legitimate QB. You guys played scared football today, and I think a lot of better teams than Buffalo will take a cue from that and make sure you end up with a very average record this year.

  43. Brent says:

    Once again let me try to be facts to the discussion and lets see who was right more often than not:

    Claim #1 – First, there was Goob bashing the Bills QB situation and then after I provided some facts to the contrary, there was still posters such as Haloti who proclaimed: “Ryan Fitzpatrick. And “solid year” do not belong in the same sentence.”

    Outcome: Fitzpatrick stat line – 29 for 43, 374 Yds, 4 Tds, 2 Int

    Brent -1
    Ignorant Fan Boys – 0

    Claim # 2 – Bashing the Bills RB situation, upon which I reminded you of a little thing called running back by committee.

    Outcome – Bills combined for 132 yards rushing…..I don’t care if we didn’t have a 100 yard rusher…neither did the Ravens but, that doesn’t mean they didn’t have a great game on the ground.

    Claims # 3 – the Ravens are gonna win 40 -3.

    Outcome – Ravens 37 – Bills 34…..and with a questionable call at that. I will agree though, a win is a win.

    Brent – 3
    Ignorant Fan Boys – 0

    You guys do earn a push though for your comments on the Bills defense though, because if you check my post I did acknowledge that your comment on the Bills D was valid, and that it has been the main factor in their record.

    …….and then lets not forget your pointless facts at the end of the video, of which half were broken.

    2 – 100 yard receivers
    1 – 300 yard passers

    Maybe you will do a little research about teams after this week, but I doubt it.

  44. Nestminder says:

    Research?

    Pfffffffffffffffff….BORING!

    No time for “research,” Goob’s got irrational hate to conjure!

  45. Fear The Unibrow says:

    Ignorant Fan Boys – 37
    Brent – 34

    SCOREBOARD.

    In the the end that is all that matters… no matter how you slice it,the bills still lost and buffalo is still jersey northwest, only with more self absorbed guido doushebags.

  46. Brent says:

    Actually, that would be Ravens – 37 Bills – 34. Last time I checked we didn’t play the game, however we can control whether or not we make baseless and arrogant comments.

    And nestminder that link was the first amusing thing you guys have brought to the table. That and your player look-a-likes.

  47. Fear The Unibrow says:

    Don’t you have a dogsled to mush eh?

  48. k says:

    So Ozzie Newsome had put together the perfect Ravens team for ’05. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn’t find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win. Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Iraq. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Iraqi soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away, ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away-ka-blooey! A car passes going 90 miles an hour-bulls-eye! Right into the barely open window. “I’ve got to get thi…s guy,” Ozzie says to himself. “He has the perfect arm!” So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Ravens go on to win the SuperBowl. The young Iraqi is lionized as the Great Hero of SuperBowl XXXI, and when Ozzie asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother. “Mom,” the young man says into the receiver, “I just won the SuperBowl.” “I don’t want to talk to you,” the old woman says. “You deserted us. You’re not my son.” “I don’t think you understand, mother” the young man pleads. “I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m in the middle of thousands of adoring fans.” “No, let me tell you,” the mother implores. “At this very moment, there are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. And your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lifes last week…” I’ll never forgive you for making us move to Baltimore.

  49. Nestminder says:

    Just cuz you’re not man enough to make it here, k, don’t make stupid jokes.

    Also, Desmond Howard was the MVP of Super Bowl XXXI. Not a quaterback, and not Iraqi.

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