Shutdown Sauce Done Gone Murdered Somebody
Late breaking news via multiple outlets on Twitter have been swirling around horrific Orioles closer, Alfredo Simon, who is in jail after he shot someone in Luperton, Puerto Plata (where the hell is that!?)
“Shutdown Sauce” as he has been known in Baltimore, has likely injected his career with some shutdown sauce and probably will never be heard from again. He also does nothing to help the professional athlete image Baltimore has been fighting for years.
So now Simon goes from blowing games for the Orioles to blowing guys in jail probably for the rest of his life. It sucks that someone died but as it relates to the Orioles, they’re probably better now that he won’t be coming out of the bullpen ever again.
UPDATE: Apparently this was a dispute on New Years and a 25 year old man was killed and a 17 year old was shot. The police are still searching for Simon but he has talked to the O’s and insists he had nothing to do with this. (TURN YOURSELF IN THEN DUMBASS!)
UPDATE 2: Looks like it was one of those incidents where everyone is shooting their guns up in the air indiscriminately. You hear about these kinds of things fairly often from countries where people like to celebrate things with guns (instead of using them to settle differences like we do here in ‘Murrica), and who apparently still don’t comprehend the whole “gravity” concept. Extremely tragic, and 100% avoidable. It may turn out that it wasn’t Simon’s gun, but that doesn’t make this story any less sad.